I have realized something in the last couple of days that has transformed my home life – overnight!
Fast forward to this fall when the children and I experienced miracle healings…
What a joy it has been to cook for my family! Overnight my love for cooking returned and with it a vibrancy of life in general that I hadn’t felt for a long time. But… Over the last few months I have come to realize that there was a “but.” Nothing really changed on the home front. I still felt like I barely had my head above water. It has always been our practice to pick up the living room and kid’s bedroom before ending the night, but the other rooms of the house would always seem to be in different levels of disarray. Suddenly I was not spending hours researching medical journals, sourcing safe food supplies, or trying to work through layers of pain and neurological symptoms, but I still couldn’t seem get anything done. Honestly I was in a funk, and my funk extended from household duties into not managing to get anything done with the kids either. I had asked my husband to pray for me and told him that I was certain my issues were adding to the acting out that we were seeing with the kids. That was Friday.
Sunday at church the sermon really left me thinking about all of it. When our Pastor invited people to come forward for prayer or as a gesture to the Lord of our desire for more of Him I went forward. I sat there in prayer about this “funk.” As a sat there the Lord gave me a very clear vision of myself sitting on my new sea blue sofa wide awake, but in a trance – staring at the computer screen. The vision was perfectly timed as our worship pastor sang the perfect words; “wake us up from slumber.” As is often the case with a vision from the Lord, I also had a clear understanding – an impression – of what the “message” was. In an instant I realized that my problem was that I was walking through each day in a slumber. I was awake, but I was not purposeful in my actions.
I would stay up too late watching meaningless television shows all with no purpose. I mean to say I didn’t necessarily care about the show I was watching, but actually felt I needed to watch TV in order to relax. When the kids woke up in the morning I would stay in bed and snooze while listening with half an ear to them playing in their room. They would come and ask me when I was going to get up. After the 3rd or 4th time they would ask, I would pull myself out of bed. They were fine – safe – but was this good for them? I told myself that I NEEDED that rest so it was ok. All the while I KNEW that what I NEEDED was to ensure I was going to bed on time to get enough sleep so that I could be the best mom that I am called to be. (The Lord had been speaking this message to me over the course of a couple of months – I just wasn’t being obedient!) Then after climbing out of bed between 8 and 9 I would put on a movie for the kids so that I could wake up. In order to wake up I would then troll the internet – email, facebook, news… whatever. Before I knew it an hour or more had gone by. Eventually I would put the computer away, but the tone for the day was set, and I didn’t even know it. The next thing I knew it was lunch time and NOTHING had gotten done – not for the house, the kids, me, NOTHING! I felt terrible! What I didn’t realize was that there was nothing purposeful about my days. What I did realize was that this was the reason I was in a funk!
After church on Sunday, knowing that I had to do something differently, I set my alarm for bedtime. That’s right, in addition to setting my alarm to wake up at 7am I also set my alarm to signal my time to get ready for bed. This was a tip I had learned from a friend just last month. This friend shared with me how she starts getting ready for the next day by going to bed on time. What an ingenious concept! Knowing that my body needs 8.5 to 9 hours of sleep to operate at its best I can actually set myself up for a good tomorrow today! Hearing that alarm go off at 9:45 isn’t just about the signal that bedtime is coming up – for me it is more of a spiritual alarm – reminding me that this is about an act of obedience.
Monday morning I woke up on time, took a shower, got dressed, and had 20 minutes of quiet time with the Lord before R woke up. I am afraid to say that on occasion this is more than I have accomplished in an entire day!