tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49897704880070897552024-03-19T15:49:34.160-04:00Nurture and NourishDuring our journey from chronic illness through nutritional healing and to Divine healing I learned very clearly that while men were created to provide and protect, women were created to nurture and nourish. This is what I was created to do.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989770488007089755.post-34200583049002555162013-06-12T15:13:00.000-04:002013-06-12T15:50:00.759-04:00It's All In the Seed<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: large;">There is power in our words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
Bible says that death and life are in the power of the tongue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This passage
in Proverbs is not referring to the life giving and judgment speaking mouth of
God – it is actually referring to the “harvest” of human lips.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Proverbs actually says that the “tongue of
the wise brings healing.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suppose I
was always taught growing up that this was a spiritual thing and good for the
soul alone, but Proverbs declares the truth that words
actually affect the soul and the body.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the
body. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Proverbs 16:24</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">How I love the Word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The living Word
of God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is the Word I long to speak
out – the promises that I seek to declare over the “situations” of my
life!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">***</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was
God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>John 1:1</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">In the beginning the Word – Jesus – spoke into existence all that is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is enough to send me into wonder for
long periods of time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The vastness of
this truth hits me at times and I am just speechless at the complexity of the
mind of God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One such time recently I
was reading about Hyssop in a magazine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The magazine was highlighting the different medicinal applications of
the herb which is good for respiratory distress and “oh by the way” can be
applied in a compress to wounds for its analgesic properties.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This little bit of information sent me into a
moment of marveling at God!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though we
may have realized these details “by accident” not one detail <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">was</b> an accident!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">This is what brings me to a truth shared with me recently by a Spiritual
Mother and mentor about “The Seed.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She recently taught on the completeness of the Word spoken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When THE Word (Jesus) spoke, and he told the flower; “you’re
a flower,” that's all it took.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything it needed to be a flower was there – and it was all there in the seed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure the seed may need some water and soil
and sunlight – but everything it needs to be a flower – its DNA – it is all
there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was teaching that the same
is true about what God speaks over us – all we need to become what we are to
become in Christ is already in us – because He spoke it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though I love her application, this teaching
became meaningful to me in a different way this past week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It became the truth that we needed to speak
out over our situation.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Z7kKYgU1Xx7V1FHOisEmYvvmT2rfD3M-qFYo2ejlKeCQiqRxjID-u2JjsvuWLPAJsYbMBgM68nAfMDyFoFPt7-b3PXAQ2RBx11o0WraYHIXzNmeaNYb5kJmZARligkVOLKIpHmzjFy0/s1600/Flower3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Z7kKYgU1Xx7V1FHOisEmYvvmT2rfD3M-qFYo2ejlKeCQiqRxjID-u2JjsvuWLPAJsYbMBgM68nAfMDyFoFPt7-b3PXAQ2RBx11o0WraYHIXzNmeaNYb5kJmZARligkVOLKIpHmzjFy0/s1600/Flower3.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">On September 29, 2012 the Lord spoke.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He spoke, and my children were healed from a lifelong medical condition
that all summed up amounted to a whole heap of trauma for my young
little ones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>BUT GOD.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He spoke on September 29, 2012.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said; “HEALED.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though PTSD may be the symptom – the diagnosis
is HEALED.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dr. Jesus – THE WORD – the same
Word who spoke the universe into existence – SPOKE.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBrSV2TvRpaaQSvhqe203Tyu7BRdePqO1GanmdxxSpm5Z1f4bruhRuqM4Vf3eW6h2jNwiRf_L4toQGwV5F_oCnPEka9JvsqN3gCB00G_CCxjDeDjzEf6cMpRn-LGYNXxULlyO0Tpj6hAM/s1600/From+Cell+Phone+207.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBrSV2TvRpaaQSvhqe203Tyu7BRdePqO1GanmdxxSpm5Z1f4bruhRuqM4Vf3eW6h2jNwiRf_L4toQGwV5F_oCnPEka9JvsqN3gCB00G_CCxjDeDjzEf6cMpRn-LGYNXxULlyO0Tpj6hAM/s1600/From+Cell+Phone+207.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">September 29, 2012 - HEALED! Eating in a restaurant for the first time ever!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Last week I met with a play therapist who specializes in attachment and
trauma.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The meeting went great.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sensed the anointing of the Holy Spirit on
this course of action.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Simultaneously
the children were out of control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
situation was getting worse, much worse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Though I had peace most of the time – something was building.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was not fear as much as it was the
familiar pulse of dysfunction (medical dysfunction in this case).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
was getting right back into the swing of it – like we hadn’t even left it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But we had, and I had already learned that “un-well”
– “different” – does not equal special.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No matter how much that lie from Hell tried to grip me – I knew
better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I had asked for prayer last Sunday evening at a special church service – my
request focused on discernment for knowing if this problem was “real” or “attack.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This Sunday I asked our small group to pray
for the situation and for inner healing to go with the children’s physical
healing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were a number of prayer
requests spoken for that evening and the prayer time was powerful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That evening after our guests left and the
kids were ready for bed, LittleR asked if he could pick the Bible story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He flipped through his book looking at the
pictures and decided he wanted to read about the “stinky river.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having never read through this particular
Bible story book before I had no idea what the story was about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I read I was astounded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The story was that of the “important” man named
Namaan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had leprosy and sought out
the prophet Elisha to receive healing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He was a sinfully proud man and initially refused to wash in the river Elisha told him too – he thought his healing should have more bells and
whistles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eventually he did as Elisha
said and he was healed of the leprosy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The astounding thing about the story is the way it was told by the
children’s Bible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The focus was on God’s
ability to heal the physical and the emotional/psychological need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">"God knew that Namaan was even sicker on the inside than he was on the outside... Their hearts were broken. But God can mend broken hearts." - The Jesus Storybook Bible</span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu74648mGXAyRdONUrf4wpgaLty9G60EdtCIEUU2qmF_mIqN8-FVzq2-8jbQnwgggTn8LO7Kts2vDgEa4SSND9-9vaVYgEFk-wb6battxR9aP-z7wQERjkwFw0CuVR64Mj6peadkULnBQ/s1600/storybook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu74648mGXAyRdONUrf4wpgaLty9G60EdtCIEUU2qmF_mIqN8-FVzq2-8jbQnwgggTn8LO7Kts2vDgEa4SSND9-9vaVYgEFk-wb6battxR9aP-z7wQERjkwFw0CuVR64Mj6peadkULnBQ/s1600/storybook.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">A</span>ll I could do was smile, and declare - “it’s
all in the seed.”</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Monday was the best day we have had in many days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was not perfect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>LittleR was still “teetering” on melting down
a couple of times, but didn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yesterday, Tuesday, was the first day we have had since March (when this
all began) that was simply put – normal. Today has also been normal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>NORMAL.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Thank you Jesus for the healing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Thank you that there is POWER in the name of Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank you that YOU are the Word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="text" style="font-size: large;">John 1:1-5</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span class="text" style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">In the beginning was
the Word</b>, and the Word was <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">with</b>
God, and the Word <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">was</b> God.</span><span style="font-size: large;"> <span class="text"><span id="en-NIV-26047">He was with God in the beginning.</span></span>
<span class="text"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span id="en-NIV-26048">Through
him all things were made</span></b>; without him nothing was made that has been made.</span>
<span class="text"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span id="en-NIV-26049">In
him was life</span></b>, and that life was the light of <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">all</b> mankind.</span> <span class="text">The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness
has <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">not</b> overcome it.</span></span><br />
<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989770488007089755.post-46986760843588896642013-06-03T22:43:00.000-04:002013-06-03T22:53:59.113-04:00Thankfully We Realized We Were Wrong<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
PTSD…it was like a quiet gentle whisper in my heart – an answer
to the strange behavior that LittleM began exhibiting shortly after her divine
healing in September of 2012.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>LittleM
suddenly became ultra clingy and seemed to regress in her developmental desires
(for lack of a better description).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All
of a sudden the “big girl” who wanted to dress herself, feed herself, and do
big-girl independent things suddenly didn’t want to do anything on her
own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Meal time and potty time were the
worst.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At first we fought with her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We thought the right thing to do was to make
our 4 year old ACT like a 4 year old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
fought with her for about an hour every night to get her to eat her dinner on
her own – she wanted to be fed – but we thought it was RIGHT to make her feed
herself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Honestly we thought a lot of
what was going on was about that typical next-step-control stuff that
preschoolers go through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thankfully we realized we were wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That whisper – PTSD – was both the beginning of our
realizing our major error and a peaceful sigh of relief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Around the same time, my sister-in-law and I
had a conversation about attachment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
shared with her that I was suspecting some sort of attachment issues.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She began talking about the impact of feeding
a baby/toddler on attachment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were
driving home from an hour long trip to the “faraway grocery store” all the kid’s
were asleep in the back of the van, and I felt like a huge light bulb just
exploded above my head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She shared what
she and my brother had learned in the adoption process about the impact of
feeding an adopted child to aid in creating a secure attachment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had remembered when my nephew came home
from the hospital and them telling me that it was very important that they be
the only ones to feed him – the only ones to meet his needs – “containing” him –
helping him to bond and attach to them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As the days wore on after this I felt sick to my
stomach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realized that every time LittleM
had asked me to feed her she was really asking me to meet her need for a more
secure attachment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fact that we were
fighting with her day after day…missing the need entirely…and thus not meeting
it…it made me sick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thankfully, I have
an amazing mom who works professionally in a field that faces these issues with
foster-care kids on a regular basis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Thankfully she is also always my biggest fan!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She listened to me, reassured me that this
was going to be ok, and helped me to brainstorm for a plan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It took a little longer to realize that LittleR was
struggling with the same issues since he was displaying them in behavioral
issues with some sensory “features” more so than the more obvious emotional
pathologies of a female!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nevertheless,
we have come to realize that his “stuff” may be even more pressing than
hers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do you know how a child will get hurt at school or a friend’s
house and hold in the tears, but as soon as he sees his mom he just busts out
crying?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel like that is what we are
dealing with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>PTSD is really the BEST
way to describe it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is as though the
twins were holding it all together while they were sick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While they were so different than all the
other kids, not able to eat, not able to use finger paints, go near new carpets
– basically knowing that anything in the WORLD might give them a reaction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were surviving knowing that it was
almost a guarantee that they would be in the doctor’s office just about every
week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were surviving knowing that
soon they would have another painful immunotherapy shot, more testing, or other
traumatic procedure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were surviving
knowing that we had to move in with grandma and grandpa because the only home
they had ever known - the “mold house” - was not safe for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>THEY WERE SURVIVING!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then, all of a sudden…THEY WERE
HEALED.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a while…that sigh of
relief…something began to happen. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>PTSD…it
was a quiet whisper.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With the realization came an understanding that allowed us
to immediately change our own behaviors as parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have since allowed them to “revert
backward” as far as they wish (all while trying to keep some sort of balance to
not allow them to be damaged in some other way from having no boundaries).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is certainly not easy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has its’ own kind of exhaustion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are times though, when I realize that we are being given back lost time. When I can just let go of the way things are "supposed to look" I realize that the simple act of feeding my precious little ones is a gift. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know this WILL all be
ok.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are going to walk through this
and on the other side I know my little ones will be whole!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I just feel impressed upon my heart to share what I wish I knew – what I wish
some other FPIES parent or doctor had told ME:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Dear Nichole, </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Make sure you feed the twins. This is a developmental milestone
that they cannot afford to miss.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Even though they don't have any safe foods - you can still feed them. It may seem silly or like a waste of time, but I promise - it will be worth it. You can feed them water, breast milk, or
formula FROM A SPOON – at least sometimes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> If they are are old enough to feed themselves once they do have a safe food, don't let them - at least not all the time. It is so important for their attachment - for every relationship in their entire lifetime - that they experience YOU meeting this basic need. </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">You are </span>faced with such a significant disturbance in the natural bonding process
of a mother feeding her child. </b></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Take heart, there are other things you can do to build a more secure
attachment with them too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b></span>You could try co-sleeping, baby wearing...there are other ideas too. I know it may seem like a lot of work and a big commitment. I wouldn't worry about what the books might say about letting them be independent or letting them "cry it out" and sleep theories. It is of the utmost importance for you - in your situation - to make greater efforts and
opportunities for them to bond and attach to you. The simple truth is, you will be giving them an amazing gift. </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Sincerely, </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Someone who has been there </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
At this point, we are believing Jesus for complete emotional
restoration and healing for the twins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We will begin walking through doors trusting the Lord to open and close
the right ones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are currently looking
into play therapy and filial therapy with a focus on trauma and attachment.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thank you Jesus for revelation, wisdom, and healing.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>As a side note for parents of multiples:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe our unique
situation with FPIES exacerbated and made more obvious the need to have the eye
contact while feeding that is natural for a baby at the breast (even if it is a
bottle).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since we had twins this was not
often the case.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were both fed at
the same time and often with each of them lying on a Boppy pillow on each side
of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They could see me and I would
talk to them, but they didn’t necessarily have that consistent <b>eye </b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">contact while having their need</b>
(hunger) <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">met</b> (this is the philosophy
of containment – and is the essence/foundation of attachment).<br />
<br /></div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/B300gQkgDS0" width="560"></iframe>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989770488007089755.post-74534364474424743572013-02-26T22:19:00.000-05:002013-06-03T22:20:16.515-04:00My Father's Love for Me<span style="font-family: inherit;">It is hard to believe that it has been 5 months since the twins were healed. There are times when it still seems so unreal. A couple of days ago we took the kids to get an ice cream at our favorite local ice cream shop. Before we had LittleM and LittleR we used to go for ice cream pretty frequently (it is after all Shawn's favorite treat). After we realized the kids couldn't eat food we didn't do anything food related. I do remember one night when my sister was visiting us from Maine when we ran to grab a cone after the kids were in bed. Another time I remember running after the kids had gone to bed and bringing an ice cream back for Shawn and I. It certainly wasn't the same as the late summer nights Shawn and I used to sit on the benches and watch the night sky turn deep dark blue while laughing and soaking in the simple summer ritual of going for ice cream. Sneaking ice cream after our 3 year old twins went to bed somehow wasn't so sweet. It was nothing at all like the many times I can remember at Bruster's with my nieces and nephews. Oh the running and dancing - the laughter and joy - all those oldies on the load speaker - we missed that didn't we... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">But Saturday, it was all so different and so surreal. LittleR finished his free baby cone super fast and climbed in the front of the car to sweetly implore daddy for some of his (he thought he was so smooth - like we had no idea what he was really trying to accomplish!). LittleM joined us up front sitting on the little armrest in between the two front seats. She sat there efficiently licking her ice cream cone. This was the first time she actually got the hang of the lick and twirl maneuver we all take for granted! I sat there quietly - just sort of struck but what I was looking at. Shawn doesn't like to think about the past - how things were. I don't want to dwell there, but I don't want to forget either. I know these moments are sometimes surreal for him too, but I also know that as a mother - created to nourish my children - this all has effected me in a different way. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">It really has effected me. I am so struck lately when I realize just how much this experience has changed me. I don't think I can even express the ways in which it has. What I feel most though is overwhelmed by my father's love for me. I feel overwhelmed to know that he took the darkness of this journey and showed me hidden treasures. Beautiful. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">"And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness--secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name." Isaiah 45:3</span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Still he was ready and willing to manifest His healing touch in our lives. I don't think for one second that it was the will or plan of God for my children to be sick. I truly don't. I find myself a part of a Pentecostal church - and believing in a God who is truly the same yesterday, today, and forever. But thank you Father, that even in the darkness you met me right where I was and brought beauty from ashes.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the LORD has planted for his own glory." Isaiah 61:3 <span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></blockquote>
<br />
These days we live like a normal family. We try to eat really well - Weston A. Price style of nutrition, but at other people's homes or out we eat whatever is being served. There are times when i battle "mommy guilt" that the nutrition is not perfect - after all before they were healed the kids' diet HAD to be perfect (all organic, all grass-fed, etc.). But I am reminded that my hope is not in the food - it never was. My hope is in HIM. As he leads us we believe he will keep us. <br />
<br />
Still, my heart is very heavy these days. My heart is heavy for all of the families whose little ones are still not well. My heart is heavy for the mommies who are tired and who don't know what to do. My heart is heavy for the mommies who feel like they have or are failing their children. My heart hurts for the hurting, the broken, those who can barely keep from breaking apart. I know the darkness. I also know that it is the Lord will comfort and lift you up. <br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="text Isa-40-31" id="en-NLT-18428">"But those who trust in the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> will find new strength.</span> <span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Isa-40-31">They will soar high on wings like eagles.</span></span> <span class="text Isa-40-31">They will run and not grow weary. </span> <span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Isa-40-31">They will walk and not faint</span></span>." Isaiah 40:31</blockquote>
<br />
And I am doing the only thing that I can do for these moms...I am praying for you. <br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989770488007089755.post-30899538434979388712013-01-09T17:24:00.000-05:002013-01-09T19:07:32.635-05:00Becoming the Proverbs 31 Woman<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]-->Today we were off to a great start: Showered, Dressed, Devotional
time! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Beds made, Dishes done, Both bathrooms
cleaned, Laundry washed, folded and put away, Floors vacuumed and swept, Living
room dusted!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sight Words and spelling
flashcards done, Play-dough and Coloring time WITH the kids!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivz6k0fkjyLG_x7Etx2wCV9dS6CmbYUfTcAH5TdsKye3Tf-ibFuws73ZvnX6syRcEXdSgy3QdTVMto-mDANQeo47s2tcwvVzw5eHvCcl3rDrODnTmXaFTowq5gcfasmgPmNIP4V_yh_48/s1600/Smiths+gifts+024.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivz6k0fkjyLG_x7Etx2wCV9dS6CmbYUfTcAH5TdsKye3Tf-ibFuws73ZvnX6syRcEXdSgy3QdTVMto-mDANQeo47s2tcwvVzw5eHvCcl3rDrODnTmXaFTowq5gcfasmgPmNIP4V_yh_48/s400/Smiths+gifts+024.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sparkling Clean!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Wow!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All that
accomplished before rest time!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t
believe how much we are getting done with this new purpose driven day!<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Beyond having a few great days with the kids and getting a
TON accomplished in the house, the Lord had more revelation in store for me as
he nudged me to re-read Proverbs 31.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is much to admire about the Proverbs 31 woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is strong, dedicated, resourceful, tireless,
generous, dignified, Godly, respectful, loving, and wise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is who I aspire to be as a woman – a mom
and a wife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realize that I cannot live
up to this picture of a woman outside of the Lords strength, but I also realize
that God has a desire for me to work diligently toward this goal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe that my being “Proverbs-31-like” is
God’s best for my husband and children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That is a sobering thought, and at the same time – exciting!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that with the Sprit of Christ living
in me, I can have victory in motherhood/wifehood each and every day!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A while ago I realized that for me the Proverbs 31 woman was
much easier to aspire to before children were part of the equation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is difficult to be this woman considering
what I bring to the table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I come from a
broken home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My parents divorced the
summer after second grade, but their marriage was over before then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Afterward my siblings and I were raised in
poverty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My father wasn’t there
financially or emotionally when I was growing up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This left my mother to be responsible for
being both mother and father – nurturer and protector.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is so much I never learned because my
father was not there to fill his God-given roll in my home and in my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am certain that at this time I don’t even
know what many of those lessons are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There
is a flip side to that coin though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At
one point, in the scope of struggling to co-parenting with my husband, I
realized that there was so much I did learn as a result of the way things were.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, being raised by a strong single
mom, I learned that children don’t really need a dad. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I learned that moms are superior parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I learned that mothers know best.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I learned that fathers can’t be trusted. The list of what I learned goes on… Of course
no one expressly taught me these lessons, but like it or not we learn from life’s
lessons both positive and negative.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As
one of my favorite songs puts it; “We are made of love and all the beauty
stemming from it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are made of love
and every fracture caused by the lack of it.”<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6BWFaJCbaDdvOJtIZdaYZK0jds53LqkA44BHtd7SmmNGMx2K4CZCI6AeaE1kpEYCwCuVIuJRbQnUDImxG_9DvqLDJwOiE2UUwB0IxNmGkcig-WW_SeVnPGz_pEY2ADzmCylWrFFZTgL4/s1600/sleeping+at+last.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6BWFaJCbaDdvOJtIZdaYZK0jds53LqkA44BHtd7SmmNGMx2K4CZCI6AeaE1kpEYCwCuVIuJRbQnUDImxG_9DvqLDJwOiE2UUwB0IxNmGkcig-WW_SeVnPGz_pEY2ADzmCylWrFFZTgL4/s320/sleeping+at+last.jpg" width="316" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We are made of love, And all the beauty stemming from it.<br />
We are made of love,
And every fracture caused by the lack of it.<br />
<div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
"Needle and Thread" by; Sleeping at Last</div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
There was a time about a 1.5 years ago that I realized a
little bit about how damaged this society of fatherless children really
is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realized that while many parents
are dedicating/giving their children to God – many of us fatherless moms need
to give our children to their fathers – and we just don’t know how.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I began hunting for resources on the
difficulty for women from divorced families to allow their husbands to parent –
essentially to trust them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was
surprised to have found nothing, but thankfully the Lord was leading me personally
through the matter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since then Shawn and
I have worked hard to correct some of the seriously wrong lessons that we accidentally taught our children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Without
realizing it, and in part thanks to our particular circumstances (having very specific
health needs), our children learned that “mommy is the boss; mommy knows best;
mommy has the final say…”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately
the end result was a lack of respect for daddy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can’t say that we are through this valley yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The kids are still relearning a lot about a
Godly family structure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thankfully the
Lord began teaching us this lesson while they were still young enough to really
reap the benefit of us figuring out how to “order” our family the way God
designed it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has been far from easy
for me to let go of control, allow Shawn to do things “his way,” discipline myself
to act and speak respectfully to him – when obviously I know best! Ha!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am still working on these things – but the
Holy Spirit of the Loving God lives and breathes in me!!!<br />
<br />
Proof of the progress came in a conversation with my almost four year old daughter today.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: left;">
Me: "M, what did I say?"</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: left;">
M: "Yes."</div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Me: "And who is the boss?" </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: left;">
M: "Daddy." (serious voice)</div>
</blockquote>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thank the Lord for his tireless pursuit of us – even when
we mess up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is one thing I really
missed from my earthly father – but my heavenly father - he is perfect.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is not easy to live up to the Proverbs 31 woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Actually it is impossible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No matter though – because I don’t have to do
it on my own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am really blessed to say
that with reignited desire I am allowing the Lord to order my days, my actions,
my thoughts and even my emotions to his plans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I have this sneaking suspicion that as I succeed in doing that he will
succeed in making me look more and more like her each day!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO9ewce3G_cGAUb8GM6QjltulHta4NpU1jfZTXS_ZvFoK1bFZws0QGCthQ3u6QrqOz1Y9SsKF8-IxoGTICApFcF3ATdbEIpBjCcYwpQaDw1K_-rPFhfc2ihq-WjXvMByRbelhsZL0lFhI/s1600/Christmas+2012+083+-+Copy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO9ewce3G_cGAUb8GM6QjltulHta4NpU1jfZTXS_ZvFoK1bFZws0QGCthQ3u6QrqOz1Y9SsKF8-IxoGTICApFcF3ATdbEIpBjCcYwpQaDw1K_-rPFhfc2ihq-WjXvMByRbelhsZL0lFhI/s320/Christmas+2012+083+-+Copy.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#SoBlessed</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989770488007089755.post-23929199673694052752013-01-09T17:18:00.001-05:002013-01-09T17:21:58.793-05:00Waking Up From Slumber<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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I have realized something in the last couple of days that
has transformed my home life – overnight!</div>
<br />
Fast forward to this fall when the children and I
experienced miracle healings…<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
What a joy it has been to cook for my family!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Overnight my love for cooking returned and
with it a vibrancy of life in general that I hadn’t felt for a long time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But… Over the last few months I have come to
realize that there was a “but.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing really changed on the home front.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still felt like I barely had my head above
water.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has always been our practice
to pick up the living room and kid’s bedroom before ending the night, but the
other rooms of the house would always seem to be in different levels of disarray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Suddenly I was not spending hours researching
medical journals, sourcing safe food supplies, or trying to work through layers
of pain and neurological symptoms, but I still couldn’t seem get anything done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Honestly I was in a funk, and my funk
extended from household duties into not managing to get anything done with the
kids either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had asked my husband to
pray for me and told him that I was certain my issues were adding to the acting
out that we were seeing with the kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That was Friday.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sunday at church the sermon really left me thinking about
all of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When our Pastor invited
people to come forward for prayer or as a gesture to the Lord of our desire for
more of Him I went forward.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sat there
in prayer about this “funk.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a sat
there the Lord gave me a very clear vision of myself sitting on my new sea blue
sofa wide awake, but in a trance – staring at the computer screen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The vision was perfectly timed as our worship
pastor sang the perfect words; “wake us up from slumber.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As is often the case with a vision from the
Lord, I also had a clear understanding – an impression – of what the “message”
was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In an instant I realized that my problem
was that I was walking through each day in a slumber.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was awake, but I was not purposeful in my
actions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I would stay up too late watching meaningless television
shows all with no purpose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean to say
I didn’t necessarily care about the show I was watching, but actually felt I
needed to watch TV in order to relax.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When the kids woke up in the morning I would stay in bed and snooze
while listening with half an ear to them playing in their room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They would come and ask me when I was going
to get up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After the 3<sup>rd</sup> or 4<sup>th</sup>
time they would ask, I would pull myself out of bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were fine – safe – but was this good for
them?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told myself that I NEEDED that
rest so it was ok.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All the while I KNEW
that what I NEEDED was to ensure I was going to bed on time to get enough sleep
so that I could be the best mom that I am called to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(The Lord had been speaking this message to
me over the course of a couple of months – I just wasn’t being obedient!)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then after climbing out of bed between 8 and
9 I would put on a movie for the kids so that I could wake up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In order to wake up I would then troll the
internet – email, facebook, news… whatever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before I knew it an hour or more had gone by. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eventually I would put the computer away, but
the tone for the day was set, and I didn’t even know it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The next thing I knew it was lunch time and
NOTHING had gotten done – not for the house, the kids, me, NOTHING!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt terrible!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What I didn’t realize was that there was
nothing purposeful about my days. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What
I did realize was that this was the reason I was in a funk!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After church on Sunday, knowing that I had to do something
differently, I set my alarm for bedtime.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That’s right, in addition to setting my alarm to wake up at 7am I also
set my alarm to signal my time to get ready for bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was a tip I had learned from a friend just
last month.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This friend shared with me
how she starts getting ready for the next day by going to bed on time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What an ingenious concept!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Knowing that my body needs 8.5 to 9 hours of
sleep to operate at its best I can actually set myself up for a good tomorrow
today!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hearing that alarm go off at 9:45
isn’t just about the signal that bedtime is coming up – for me it is more of a
spiritual alarm – reminding me that this is about an act of obedience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Monday morning I woke up on time, took a shower, got
dressed, and had 20 minutes of quiet time with the Lord before R woke up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am afraid to say that on occasion this is
more than I have accomplished in an entire day!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yikes!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989770488007089755.post-51514433759749853802013-01-02T15:21:00.000-05:002013-01-02T16:21:00.589-05:00One Thing Ended<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It is hard to believe that M and R have been healed for 3
months now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In some ways it actually feels
a lot longer than that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To be honest, it
feels like an entire lifetime separates our life sick from our life healed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is difficult to experience these realities
on a continuum and somehow makes more sense to me to see them as entirely
separate - as though one thing has ended
and another thing has begun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is funny
because this is how my husband and I used to describe our life together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibGv5dIMmb1y151krX3rBGSi-2UdqGua6AzxwTCsKAsJ8GWmdbwwTrjpPPN1EIe3bybQyZDBHbJ9MA2TpbvVLGltwKLY-JsMxGSMf4XFPfuSmzFRBasNBEiY5zg4rhqI-AijL_xz9o8dA/s1600/DSCN2463.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibGv5dIMmb1y151krX3rBGSi-2UdqGua6AzxwTCsKAsJ8GWmdbwwTrjpPPN1EIe3bybQyZDBHbJ9MA2TpbvVLGltwKLY-JsMxGSMf4XFPfuSmzFRBasNBEiY5zg4rhqI-AijL_xz9o8dA/s400/DSCN2463.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The dating days! (September, 2007)</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIyUHWCSc0Towal14JP_nn8KsoMwINJnxoGLfmxrTDh1N1hGmsNbBMYvq3mkHgDNBagt7C1GAPSUzZMSWcL61MvJmR45BKuOVOQ6Kp5O99Q3ZrCm-fG0dgAjyKJxkcaNf7cFxvA43jcAQ/s1600/0216285+-+Copy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIyUHWCSc0Towal14JP_nn8KsoMwINJnxoGLfmxrTDh1N1hGmsNbBMYvq3mkHgDNBagt7C1GAPSUzZMSWcL61MvJmR45BKuOVOQ6Kp5O99Q3ZrCm-fG0dgAjyKJxkcaNf7cFxvA43jcAQ/s400/0216285+-+Copy.JPG" width="381" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Wedding Day! (February 16, 2008)</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh5QezP4GFaVSPMeq4Fq_-CAgH-DLPsJni8T6C-rDpCJ0lpN3h-_HTnTS4bac3F1ctSmbm9EATre7yf6jBjKy17TiSEv61oT5cx4puzJpOYk_YbqDvUNCoCZqGHTQoEE0opc-zLRu057A/s400/DSCN3947.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Twins...13 days before our 1st anniversary!! (February 3, 2009)</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvJaAJ4m1PLTaRA3IX78X8HEexEBDa-XH9QasxhbK3sGBCSrqLDiwXiGzIDhrUwDUKt72jXTaHPUBZ6RU6MvpABr1vFKxbqNfw3RhX7pAcQDxDFPAMrdlag7b8XfZg0DR7NPIEb1CA4Qs/s1600/Christmas+Decorating+043.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvJaAJ4m1PLTaRA3IX78X8HEexEBDa-XH9QasxhbK3sGBCSrqLDiwXiGzIDhrUwDUKt72jXTaHPUBZ6RU6MvpABr1vFKxbqNfw3RhX7pAcQDxDFPAMrdlag7b8XfZg0DR7NPIEb1CA4Qs/s400/Christmas+Decorating+043.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Five and a half years later! (November 24, 2012)</td></tr>
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<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Sometimes people come to us (when they are in
the midst of marital problems) looking for us to tell them that “the grass is
greener” so to speak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think people see
all that God has done in our lives and think; “If they can be happy (happier than
they were in their past marriages) then perhaps I can find someone else to be
happier with.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">People looking in don’t see the difficulty though. </span>It is because of these
moments that Shawn and I have developed the idea that some things don’t exist
on a continuum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We firmly believe that
our happiness together has nothing to do with our failed marriages.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is all about redemption.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is difficult for me to express, but as I sit
here now I am beginning to realize that it is actually a picture of resurrection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God didn’t take our past marriages, direct us
to divorce, lead us to one another, make us happily ever after, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
failed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The marriages that we were both
in were one-flesh unions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The moment we
said “I do,” we were married to the person God had for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But we as humans failed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When our first marriages failed something
died.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was AFTER this that our God
stepped in with his Resurrection Power and breathed life into something
NEW.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One thing ended and another thing
began.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now as I write this I realize
that this is just the way of our God - in many circumstances.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">As I sit here now and realize that I feel the same way
toward the children’s healing – I have to wonder what does this say about
us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What does it say about the
resurrection power of the cross as we live out our daily lives?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are we truly embracing the POWER that comes
from the cross?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that this is much,
much deeper than I am expressing here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Though some of this has been in my heart for a long time, some of it is
developing right now. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">One thing I know for sure – right now – this gives me great
confidence in terms of M and R’s healing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I believe that their healing is a work of
the cross I can extrapolate that it is truly and completely finished.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all, we don’t live in fear
of the curtain being sewn up and the separation from God being reinstated do
we?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We have complete confidence that the curse has been broken – that when
Jesus said, “it is finished,” it was indeed finished.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When He rose again we didn’t continue on some continuum of living under the
law. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, there was a NEW covenant that
completely replaced the old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We don’t
have to wonder if the old system of sacrifice will be reinstated – we KNOW that
we live under Grace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One thing ended and
another began.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank you Jesus!</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMDxZxxJcvwrKwg2dFUTaYJr9zvDDh5eW_tsbnqGcjTlPwhfdPwzElXcrDRmM3EWRB4QTbC3BRBiLNuhzgjX5v89Qv67FG73Gn6lc2mQTsPEQQ5oSW3olaJDiWsWIHieLyYMCUvfXeW6Y/s1600/December+052.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMDxZxxJcvwrKwg2dFUTaYJr9zvDDh5eW_tsbnqGcjTlPwhfdPwzElXcrDRmM3EWRB4QTbC3BRBiLNuhzgjX5v89Qv67FG73Gn6lc2mQTsPEQQ5oSW3olaJDiWsWIHieLyYMCUvfXeW6Y/s400/December+052.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The first Christmas with a Christmas Cookie! (December, 2012)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Today I have full confidence that one thing ended.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My family was sick – for a long time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thank the Lord Jesus Christ for the
fullness of his promise that he is the Resurrection and the Life – that this
doesn’t begin and end with salvation, but that my God is in the business of
redemption - resurrecting: relationships, dreams, hopes, futures, pasts, broken
hearts, lives, _________ (insert need here)!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989770488007089755.post-48433249955544307892012-10-02T16:15:00.002-04:002013-01-02T15:34:32.628-05:00A Whole New Book<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The last few days have been surreal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I cannot really explain what it is like to
start feeding the children who have never been free to just eat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Feeding them has always been a lot of
work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At this point I can clearly see
that we have traveled through three distinct seasons of feeding the twins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In each of these seasons I can clearly see
how God has walked before us – leading us into his grace, truth, and healing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>THE FIRST SEASON</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When the twins were babies the reality of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">what</i> they ate was not really all that
different from most babies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though their
formula was a medical food it was still baby formula.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our plight was not much different than any
family bottle feeding a baby or two.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
there were extenuating circumstances that made it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">different– more difficult – sometimes much more difficult.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>To begin with feedings took more than an
hour for each child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then there was the
pain, vomiting, diarrhea or severe constipation, bloody stools, extreme fussiness…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even as these symptoms waxed and waned there was
a sort of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">bondage</i> to the
routine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because they were not able to
eat solid foods we were always <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">on the
clock</i> – getting ready for the next bottle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;">This
was the routine until the twins were about 2 years old, and the routine doesn’t
even speak to the heartbreak of denying my children of the basic instinct and desire to eat food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is no way to describe that.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>THE SECOND SEASON</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When the twins were two years old we began a healing diet
for something known as Gut and Psychology Syndrome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The diet – known as the GAPS Diet – is designed
to heal the gut.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is really just as
simple as that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though the condition we
were trying to heal did not really fall into Gut and Psychology Syndrome God
had clearly led us to this diet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>During
my three seasons of petitioning Him to heal the children he answered me each
time – very clearly – with this diet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The logistics of feeding a toddler nothing but meat and
broth (and carrots, their 1 food at the time) was overwhelming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The learning curve was steep, but the Lord
provided me with a friend who was on the same journey at the exact same
time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Together we forged ahead and in
the power of the Holy Spirit we cast off our fears and went against the advice
of the entire medical community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The job was endless and the tasks were daunting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ensuring that there was enough broth and meat
– at all times meant there was always a giant pot on the stove, countless trips
to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">the farm</i> to buy <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">safe</i> meat and bones, sourcing reliable and
honest farmers to buy from.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just the
sourcing and traveling to purchase food was a part time job!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then there was the constant blending.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The bone broth and meat had to be blended
into a drinkable <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">milk</i> in order to
nourish our little ones who couldn’t chew and swallow much of anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Then for our family came the food trials.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The work and worry that was attached to each
bite of each new food was exhausting – physically, mentally and
emotionally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But for the twins the yield
was more than a dozen foods that they could eat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These amazing little people never
complained.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From this vantage point that
is overwhelmingly inspiring – and humbling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We complained a lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was devastated
about not being able to feed my children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My husband was overwhelmed at the work involved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Somewhere in the middle of this season, I had
become hardened by the monotony of these tasks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For one example, I had come to despise the broth pot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Near the end of this season the Lord showed
me how all of these tasks were actually a part of the joy and blessing of being
able to feed my children all the things they <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">could</i> eat – and not about the things they <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">could not </i>eat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>THE THIRD SEASON</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We are only now entering the third season of this
journey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has only been four days
since we entered this glorious time – since the twins received Divine healing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For four days I have been feeding my little
boy and little girl like normal children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For four days they have been <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">normal
children</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It is difficult for me to describe what this feels
like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a lot of work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have spent a lot of time sourcing good
foods for them to eat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have spent <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">more</i> time cooking than I did with their
time consuming GAPS menu.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Overnight my
children who have <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">never</i> complained about
their <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">safe foods</i> don’t want anything
to do with their vegetables!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They want
to eat nothing but fruit and muffins!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They want to eat all the things they are familiar with (since watching
their cousins and family eat them for so long).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am fielding constant requests – strawberries, pizza, pretzels, ice
cream…!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I really had to express how
this feels I think I would have to say – <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">it
feels normal.</i></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWTYo7Ux1S4pSM3ccB0Xz-N-HFgTz-1355y-rKviPPbbo2CHp1TniEeNDnzLlcZdOJ59Zge0X5kxj8Ssvq6Ya42SEavKFbnVnFJSQxqh7smXrYJOBNsE4j2VVHFBYB0ZPvU3Cp0-tFBGs/s1600/From+Cell+Phone+224.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWTYo7Ux1S4pSM3ccB0Xz-N-HFgTz-1355y-rKviPPbbo2CHp1TniEeNDnzLlcZdOJ59Zge0X5kxj8Ssvq6Ya42SEavKFbnVnFJSQxqh7smXrYJOBNsE4j2VVHFBYB0ZPvU3Cp0-tFBGs/s1600/From+Cell+Phone+224.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I guess I don’t really feel like this is just the start of a
new chapter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s the start of a whole new book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This book will not be a story of illness; it will not be a
story about striving for answers or healing. This new book will be the story of nurturing and nourishing my children – the very thing I was
created to do.</span></div>
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